Westminster sex pests named and shamed
I can't even scroll through Facebook these days without seeing a sexual assault allegation. No one is untouchable - from Hollywood directors to actors and MP's. It seems like all of them have tried to take a bite out of the forbidden fruit at some point during their career.
The latest scandal to hit the headlines involves all the dirty fuckers of Westminster, and the dossier of 36 Tories, and 6 cabinet ministers who have been accused of inappropriate sexual behaviour.
Accusations range from affairs (does that even count? surely not) to specific allegations such as one Minister getting "handsy with women at parties". To be fair, I can name at least 40 dudes who get a a bit too handsy at parties, or maybe that says more about the kind of company I keep.
The list has accused two MPs of using prostitutes while a well-known female MP is accused of noshing off a young male researcher behind her husbands back. A former senior Tory was also accused of propositioning his secretary by asking her to “come and feel the length of my cock”. Fuckin'ell, a bit brazen isn't it? The weirdest claim is that there is a video going around that shows a male MP getting pissed on by three dudes. I don't actually see much wrong with that one. Maybe he just likes a golden shower. Nowt to be ashamed of. Anyhoo, here is the list:
Wowzers. Some real incriminating stuff there. Check out the Tories who have been named and shamed:
- Michael Fallon admitted that he got “handsy” when he touched the knee of journalist Julia Hartley-Brewer 15 years ago but insisted he apologised and that both considered the matter closed. Julia has since said she wasn't bothered about the incident and that she actually found it “mildly amusing”. Here's a pic of Julia the journo.
- Brexit minister Mark Garnier admitted calling his secretary "sugar tits" and taking her to buy dildos in soho. Caroline Edmonson said Mr Garnier stood outside the shop and sent her in to buy sex aides for his wife and a member of his constituency staff. Am I just a deviant? I'm not finding anything wrong with this. I'd happily go and pick out dildos for my boss.
- Former cabinet minister Stephen Crabb sent sexts to a 19-year old woman who applied to work in his Commons office. The 44-year-old husband and devout Christian admitted saying some pretty filthy things such as wanting to get a faceful of her fanny.
- Deputy PM Damian Green was accused of inappropriate behaviour towards a woman 30 years younger that him and sending her texts. He was also found to have "extreme" porn on his computer. My guess is bestiality but we don't know for sure.
- Mark Menzies, (what an unfortunate surname) resigned in 2014 following reports he had hired a rent boy.
- Minister Jake Berry was included in the list because he “impregnated Boris Johnson’s office manager” Alice Robinson.
Some pretty juicy stuff there. It won't be long before there's even more dirt on these posho's. I'll keep you posted!
