Swarms of STD-ridden ladybirds set to invade the UK
It might sound like the plot to a really shit movie but it’s actually true - A bunch of clap-ridden ladybirds really are swarming the country. Apparently there’s a load of sinister-looking black ladybirds carrying STDs looking to invade the UK. If you don’t believe me - just look at these scary little bastards:
People have been snapping pics of the Harlequin ladybirds to warm people to steer clear of them. They’re believed to be flying in from Asia and North America on mild autumn winds, with scientists labelling them, ‘Britain’s most invasive species’. Yikes!
Even though the ladybirds are carrying STDs, it’s not really anything than can fuck us up or cause your partner to think you’re cheating. It’s pretty much a form of fungi - known as Laboulbeniales and doesn't directly affect humans.
I wonder how many people will be blaming ladybirds for their positive STD test results - “nah babe, I didn’t fuck the girl in my office - it was the ladybirds.”
