Walmart releases Christmas jumper showing Santa doing lines of blow!
It ain’t Christmas until you’re donning an ugly sweater and glugging back the mulled wine while eating an overpriced bratwurst. Even the biggest humbug can’t resist a good festive jumper. I’m a bit late to the game this year as I’ve not yet found my perfect Christmas jumper but all that is about to change with Walmart’s new collection.
I rarely order anything from the U.S or Canada because the import tax is extortionate and I’m too tight to shell out but on this occasion I’ll make an exception. Walmart just released their new jumper that depicts Santa doing a whole load of blow and it might be the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
Here’s what the product description said:
We all know how snow works. It’s white, powdery and the best snow comes straight from South America.
That’s bad news for jolly old St. Nick, who lives far away in the North Pole.
That’s why Santa really likes to savor the moment when he gets his hands on some quality, grade A, Colombian snow.
He packs it in perfect lines on his coffee table and then takes a big whiff to smell the high quality aroma of the snow.
It’s exactly what he needs to get inspired for Christmas Eve.
The jumpers were available at Walmart Canada but surprise surprise, they’ve just been pulled from the shelves because they were deemed too controversial. I mean yeah, they are pretty out there but I love’em. Here’s what a spokesperson at Walmart had to say:
These sweaters, sold by a third-party seller on the Walmart Canada website do not represent Walmart’s values and have no place on our website. We have removed these products from our marketplace. We apologize for any unintended offence this may have caused.
Oh fuck off, and show me where the stock went. I want one! It’s going to be a white Christmas!
