People share their most cringeworthy sex stories
I've had some pretty awkward moments in the bedroom, or film set in the past. I was once bitten on the minge by a girl during a girl-girl scene and my pussy was literally pissing blood. They girl was all 'omg you're bleeding' - yeah no shit bitch, you fucking bit me! All was ok in the end though and we got a decent scene once the bleeding subsided. Even though it was awkward, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as some of the stories told on Reddit:
I thought she squirted, but it wasn’t pussy juice…
I once was giving a lass oral and was using my fingers quite rigorously that I was sure she had squirted. She told me not to stop, so I kept going and it felt like she squirted some more.
When I eventually stopped, I lightly pressed the bed sheet expecting to feel wetness. I felt something alright, but it wasn’t her orgasmic juice, it was her poo. She got that excited she literally shit herself and the bed. You’ve never seen a lass get up so quickly and remove the sheets so hastily to the bathroom. I was not embarrassed or put off in the slightest. I figured maybe I just did something right for her to get that excited.
This mum was eager to meet her daughter’s new man
So I once went on a date with a girl and we ended up going back to her house. While we were having sex her mum walked in to find out what all the noise was about.
Now, why she would walk in when she clearly knew what was making the noise, I really don’t know… what made it worse is when she stood there for what felt like forever staring at both of us laying there completely naked, no covers, nothing. It’s safe to say that I completely lost it after that and decided pretty quickly that I should really get a cab home.
Mums should always knock!
It was ten years ago while I was at college and still living at home. My girlfriend and I were having sex on my computer chair. My mum walks in and saw us. She was more upset that I was not using a condom.
Well yeah, I don’t blame her. Gotta strap up, lads!
‘Do you have any diseases?’
I once accidentally headbutted a woman in the dark the first time we were hooking up, and made her nose bleed. For reasons best known to past drunk me, instead of asking if she was ok I just said “do you have any blood borne diseases?” while handing her tissues. Inexplicably she kept sleeping with me for a few months afterwards and took every opportunity to make fun of me for it.
When your boyfriend is a selfish asshole!
I dated someone who quite clearly had no concept of female pleasure. Like, at all. I used to give him head loads but there was nothing back, in part because I was a virgin at the time and nervous. At some point I said ‘okay, I’m ready, let’s go for it’. He literally puts one finger in my vagina, does not move it or do anything else. Just puts it in and holds it still. We did not have sex.
Jeez, sticking one digit in and not even moving it is fucking unacceptable. He's either utterly clueless or just a lazy fuckwit - I reckon it's the latter!
