People share the white lies they've told that got ridiculously out of hand
Have you ever told a small white lie that actually turned into a gigantic lie that you can't come clean about because it's been so long? These people have, and some of the lies are just weird:
I was a poor kid who went to boarding school for high school. After getting there, nearly all my friends were Jewish, so I said I was too. This was 16 years ago. Most of the social circles I've been in since have had some sort of relation to the people I was in high school (and college) with so the lie just kind of stuck. I've even been the token Jew in many of those circles. Funny part is that last year I got drunk and tried to explain this to three of my closest friends. They simply did not believe me. The next morning they were like, 'You got so drunk you tried to convince us that you're not Jewish.' And I was just like, 'ehhh...'
I'm the kind of person that always leaves my shoes tied and just slips them on. I'm dating this girl for a couple months and then one day my shoe gets untied but I'm too lazy to retie it. It really bothers her and she insists on me tying it. I really don't want to bend over and do it for some reason. It was around the time when Liam Neeson got his shoe tied by Olivia Wilde during a movie shoot and I was crazy jealous because I really liked Olivia Wilde. She eventually asks me, 'Don't you know how to tie your shoes???' In my head I'm seeing Liam Neeson getting his shoes tied by Olivia Wilde and how badass it looks. So I say, 'No... I never learned how, you can't tell anyone...' To this day, when my shoe gets untied in public she will pull me off to the side away from other people and secretly tie my shoe. For some reason it makes her happy and it's the sweetest thing ever. I can't understand how she would even tolerate a grown man who doesn't know how to tie his own shoe! I'll never be Liam Neeson cool, but I've found my Olivia Wilde
I work with a number of women (and men for that matter) who all have children. When we all first started working together they asked me if my wife and I have kids - I said no. I have zero interest in hearing about their kids or talking about mine. So years later I'm the guy without kids and it's wonderful. My boss who I've known for 18 years actually knows my son and doesn't care, he actually thinks its funny. Son is in his mid 20s and has been out of the nest for years, so technically I don't have kids, just an adult son
When I was 13 I was playing World of Warcraft and someone asked me my age. 13 was so young so I lied and said I was 14, cause that meant I was so much more mature. Well I kept playing with the same group of people, and 4 years later they thought I was 18. Someone started asking me how my applications to college were going since I was that age. Being caught in the lie about my age I played along and asked for advice. I played along with the advice which resulted in me actually putting in a college application to a university and I got in. As a high school junior. So to keep up this lie about my age I now had to finish high school quickly so I could actually go to this university that accepted me. Great part is that I was able to do this by overloading my spring semester with online classes (yay Florida online high school). I managed to graduate high school a year early and went to university a year early to keep this lie going. So here I am, at a university 1000 miles from my home state, finished my BS and am now doing a masters, all because 14 sounded way more mature than 13 on a fucking video game.
This one is fucking brutal!
My daughter was accidentally conceived in a threesome when our friends birth control failed. We just told everyone that we got a surrogate because my wife wanted to focus on her career. No one actually knows that our friend didn't want the kid but also didn't want to get an abortion, so my wife and I decided to take the baby in as if she was ours. It actually work pretty well, in the past 4 years since, my wife has been promoted and is making $$$ while I stay home with our daughter. My wife sometimes says that she accidentally had her cake and ate it too because she now has a daughter and her body is still the same. Though I am 100% sure that this whole situation would have gone to shit if I was with anyone else, but my wife accepted that this was all of our faults. She and i have always had this incredible trust between each other and when we found out that our friend was pregnant I told her that I was 100% OK with her leaving me. I didn't want her to have to go through all of this, but she reminded me that she was the one that approved the sex act that lead to our friend being pregnant so she was also accepting responsibility.
A girl I lived with two years ago thought I was stealing her yogurt out of the fridge. I told her it couldn't have been me since I'm allergic to dairy, and now I still can't eat dairy in front of her or anyone from that friend group. She made me a dairy free cake for my birthday - the guilt is eating me alive. Because yeah, I ate the fucking yogurt and it was delicious
My now wife and I were dating in college in the early '80s. One night we went out to a party where she proceeded to get black out drunk. The next morning I asked her if she remembered the little organ grinder monkey giving her tittie twisters. She didn't believe me at first so she asked my roommate. He was always on his game and confirmed it without hesitation. He even added to the story a bit. All 100% complete bullshit. No tittie loving monkey to be had. Fast forward 30+ years. It's now a family legend. She tells everyone about it. Parents/siblings/children/friends have heard the story dozens of times. It invariably comes up at every family gathering. People hearing it for the first time howl with laughter because she has the rap down cold by now and delivers it with skill. Those that have heard it repeatedly just cringe and roll their eyes. I'm the only one (besides roommate whom I haven't seen in 20+ years) that knows it's all bullshit. I'm scared to tell her the truth, so I wrote her a sealed letter and put it in my will.
When I was younger I walking home at night and the street lights were off, I got scared and starting running, knocked myself clean out on a lamppost. Someone walking their dog found me and called the ambulance. I was that embarrassed when I woke up I told the nurse I was mugged (I was 12). My parents turned up at the same time as the police. I gave a description that sounded a lot like gonzo from the Muppets and police were searching the area with sniffer dogs. Thank Christ nobody was arrested and I still haven't told my parents
Note to self: no more white lies
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